Religion’s pretty weird, right? I mean, for one, it’s pretty much the biggest reason for a’lotta violence throughout the world and I guess that a whole image ideal of a religious person is a guy who’s peaceful, respectful and sticks to the law. But, then, you think about the priests and church-goers who’ve been found guilty of touching and fiddling with kids and duping people into sexual acts and you realise that religion isn’t really all that clean-cut and is a shady business that not even the Russian Mafia can come close to. Considering the whole concept of religion is to – more or less – dedicate your life to running it by the ‘guidelines’ and ‘rules’ of your chosen religion there’s a lot of people out there who claim to be religious (is it cool to be touched by God now?) but aren’t religious in any sense apart from attending church on Christmas Eve with their grandmother just so they get an extra £20 as a present. Anyway, personally, it’s not something I would ever wanna be a part of unless someone paid me a million every week until I died and they forever keep my cat alive with their spells.
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And here’s another example of the imbecilic behaviour of religious nuts. These guys don’t need drugs. There’s a cathedral in Fresno, California, called St. Johns Cathedral, which has a tree outside. Nothing special about that, is there, you’d think? But, these God-bummers have found something ultra-intense about that tree – they believe it weeps God’s tears. They pray underneath the tree, all huddled together like lost orphans, and when questioned about it, one of them – Maria Ybarra – said this: “When you say ‘glory be to God in Jesus name’ the tree starts throwing out more water.”
Is it really God’s tears, a miracle, or is it something much more common and realistic? Well, an expert – Jon Reelhorn – took a look at the tree and he says that the tears of God aren’t real at all. In fact, the tears are actually bug shit. This is what he had to say: “The aphides will suck the sap, the sap goes through the aphid and then it is a honey dew excrement from the aphid and it gets so heavy in the summertime that it will drip down.”
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He found another tree exactly like it across the street.
But, Maria Ybarra is having none of it: “I can tell you looking at it from a scientific standpoint and a spiritual standpoint it is the work of God manifesting here on earth.”
Ah, God bless religion.
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